For my first blog entry, I figured I would share a little something that I’ve been thinking about recently. I share this as a way to introduce myself, because this is something I believe in wholeheartedly, and thus defines the way I perceive my life.
A couple weeks ago I experienced something that reaffirmed my beliefs. I was on my break from work where I was scheduled for an eight hour shift, I did not feel good, and I was hungry. I walked into a gas station nearby to grab some food and realized I had forgotten to bring my money. I counted out about 70 cents and asked the man behind the counter if he had anything for sale that I could buy with that. It turned out that he didn’t.
“Ok”, I said, “sorry.” And I began to walk out, disappointed that I wouldn’t be able to eat anything all day.
The man comes out from behind the counter and tells me to wait. He then proceeds to tell me I could pick out anything I wanted. When I hesitantly grabbed a granola bar he just shook his head and said that it would not do. He gave me a sandwich and a bottle of juice, and said, “Pay me back whenever you can, I’m here every day.” I thanked him profusely and he simply said, “It’s no problem, people have helped me out before so now I will help you. That is just the way the world works.”
I walked out of that store feeling a million times better. A complete stranger had made my day. I believe in the innate goodness of human beings. I believe that because of this, it is important to approach life with the theory that everyone deserves kindness, whether or not they give you the same, and that every human being deserves the benefit of the doubt. I think that we often underestimate the power we have to make a stranger’s life a little better.
I came to believe this through my encounters with many people in the world. Perhaps it was because I was brought up in a sheltered place, where I didn’t have to worry about dangerous people or con-men. But in the last couple of years I have lived in many different environments, and I find that no matter where I go people are people. And for the most part, they are good.
I worked in a bakery in a not-so-good area of Hartford, and there were all kinds of people that would come in there, many of whom would be considered by our society to be “scum.” I remember when I had first started working there, my coworkers warned me about this homeless lady they hated, who would always come in with about 50 cents asking for free food or discounts. She was always refused, and would respond by making a scene until the shop owner or someone else threw her out. One day while I was there by myself she came into the shop with her usual routine. This time though, since it was a really hot day I gave her a free cup of ice water and a donut. She just looked at me, completely astonished, and then went outside and ate it in the sunlight. She looked so happy. From then on, she would come in and we would repeat a similar routine, and she would bring me money whenever she had it. We ended up chatting about life and I learned that she was not only a kind person, but intelligent as well, and it was her circumstances that forced her to act that way.
Another time I realized that a little kindness goes a long way, was when I was working in a restaurant in Avon. I was hosting on a busy night and we were running about an hour wait for tables when a grumpy old man came in. He insisted that he skip the other names on the list and that we would seat him immediately. When we explained that we couldn’t do that, he proceeded to tell us that we were incompetent. When he finally did get a seat, he didn’t like it. It went on like this the entire time he was there, until nobody wanted anything to do with him. But as he was leaving, I noticed that he was having trouble walking so I helped out of the restaurant and to the car. He didn’t say anything about it, but simply got into his car and drove off. You never know how your kindness is going to influence others, because the next day he showed up at the restaurant with a bouquet of flowers, and told me he had really appreciated what I had done for him. He also apologized for the night before, confessing that he had been having a bad day, and had chosen to take it out on us.
Most people will appreciate the kind words of a stranger, even if it takes them a while. I’m not saying that I’m changing the world. But what harm could it do? A smile from a stranger is more powerful than we give it credit. And I believe that most people want to do the right thing. Don’t believe me? Consider the various cases of people that find a lot of money and return it, or people that donate to charity, or start organizations to feed the homeless. Or even just the kind gas station owner that will help out a hungry girl because she was careless and forgot her money. I believe that if we all approach life with an attitude of general regard for humanity, this world can be a million times better.
